My First Post: The Grace to Inspire and A Call to Share

The grace to inspire and a call to share- a calling that I  must heed. 

This predicament of mine that I am experiencing right now - I believe am no right to ask or question about if it’s the Will of God for me. Thus, with God's grace I have decided to share it with interested readers who want to be inspired and who want to walk with me in my journey. Welcome. 

Prior to November of 2010, I was on a 2-month consulting job contract in one of the leading Pharmaceutical Companies. Like any other person who plans ahead, I made some very simple plans of  actions of what I intend to do after the contract. To cite a few: Change hairdo, change wardroves,  clean the house and decorate (because it’s Christmas Season). Concentrate full time to work for a living and sell some consumer goods and personal accessories as well. That I will put into action in November after my 1^st ever root canal (for a tooth) scheduled on the 1^st week of November.

 All my personal plans didn’t push through. Second week after my first ever root canal, I experienced a discomfort-- a persistent pain in my belly, that lasted for almost 3 weeks. Believing that it was due to the antibiotics that was prescribed to me by my Dentist after the root canal procedure, I ignored the pain for several days until it reached an unbearable stage that I need to consult a Gastro-enterologist - who prescribed a pro-biotic to restore the intestinal mucosal flora that was said to be affected by the antibiotic medications. 

 But still the pain persisted.  It was only then that I decided to have an ultrasound. The Sonologist saw a cyst in my ovary as big as a baby’s head. He advised me to consult an OB-Gyne. Being single, it was not easy for me to be subjected to another test. I was emotionally unprepared.  My OB then confirmed the result. Curious to know more about what I am going through, I searched the net. I searched about my illness. From there, I was convinced that surgery is really recommended.  With the sharing of some friends, the more I was convinced to have it removed. I came to hear and realize as they share that unknowingly some of them underwent surgery too. That some of their friends had cyst as well that has been removed. And so, the courage to went on don on me.     

 A  decision was promptly made to have it removed and so last Dec 08, 2010, Immaculate Conception Day,  I decided to be confined to a hospital for the necessary pre-laboratory procedures and be cleared for the operation,. The next day, Dec 09, 2010 at 7AM, I was already in the operating room for its removal.  There I placed total trust in the hands of the  Doctors and the Assisting Staff.   

 My plans did not push through because it was just MY plans. I came to believe it wasn’t what I have been called for to do at that time.  -- for those were not His plans for me. Whatever His plans are, hope I will be able to discern it in time. 

 Life can change in an instant. It’s unpredictable, if I must say. We may have the best of plans for the holidays and the New Year or anytime of the year, but, only God knows if one can do it.

The same month of December few days before the New Year’s Eve,  (December 28 to be exact), my OB relayed to me the histopath results of what has been taken from me. I have the Big C. I have (ovarian) cancer.  I was just silent, as I listened to my OB, then after a while posed few questions.  She then referred me to an Oncologist who was also a member of the team during the operation and who is in best position to explain to me more about it.  But, it was the Holiday Season and so the oncologist clinic will have to resume in January.  

January 05, 2011, I heard straight from my Onco doctor that I have a Stage 2 ovarian cancer with recommendation to undergo 6 sessions of chemotherapy. That time, it was  not just a chemo word that I have heard, but, a chemo that I myself have to undergo.   

  

 For now, with the Grace to Inspire and God’s Call to Share, through this Blog, I may be able in my own little way to be used by God to touch other people’s lives.  And, as I walk through this journey, others who may be interested may join me as well and let’s walk together if it be for My Good, Your Good and for the  Glory of God, regardless of your belief, religion or race.  For me, this is my share, my call, now my advocacy – in the comfort of our home. And, anybody who wants to walk with me in this journey regardless of who you are, with due respect to your individuality and whole being and my individuality and whole being as well – I WELCOME YOU, I WELCOME ANYBODY.

 This is my way to share the goodness of God to me and my family. And the graces The Almighty God bestowed on me as I offer each day of my life to Him. The grace to grow and surrender everything in my capacity and to do His will, as I pray: “ Teach me to do Your  will, for You Are my God. Be good to me, and guide me on a safe path”. -- Psalm 143:10.   

 I was so dependent to the people around me to assist me personally and I am so dependent to God for the rest- of everything. 

In my heart I still believe in magic…I still believe in miracles. Miracles is happening to people and it will still happen to me. Every moment I believe that God performs miracles. To God almighty, I lift up everything. I trust, I believe and I have faith in Him. He knows what’s best for all of us, what’s best for me.  And I am here trying to hold onto the faith that He will not abandon me. My spirit may be weak at times, but the belief that He is always present to bless and touch our lives is a grip I have to hold on tight. 

 I am a very private person, yet I am humbling myself and entrusting my health condition to interested readers. A decision not easy to make, but I believed it’s a call to share that I must heed.

 Very timely for when will I do this? When it passed already? When I no longer have the time to share?  When the feelings of the moments were gone?  And when will I ever grab the opportunity to share, to inspire and say the words that must be said, the words that must be heard.? And when will you know that there is somebody out here who came to realize that words are important to be relayed, and be shared, and be said, and be heard or be read.  Words straight  from the person who is the authority, the person who has the right to say so for it is coming from one’s own experiences, one’s own sufferings, one’s own victories. For it is naught if not to be shared and bring inspiration to those who wanted to be inspired and for those whose advocacy is to share as well. 

 Please join me in my journey, if you wish. And, stay with me in prayers and perseverance. Thank you.  

Ermie. 3.31.11