5th Post: The Actual Battle Experience, 12 March, 2011 Sat.

I'm back home. My 1st (of 6) therapy was successfully done and was able to conquer my greatest fear-- the needle to be poked at me, ha ha ha.-- because I have little veins. Funny but it's really what I'm most afraid of. 

I'm  very much okay so far. No pain in the administration of the medicines. Though of course, I am not allowed to go out yet coz doctor said it will weaken me for around 2 to 3 days. Might compromise my immune system after the therapy.   

With due respect to other religions. Please let me share this, it helped me uttering about the Body and Blood of Christ. It just popped up my mind the night before my therapy.  

      Ang katawan ni Kristo ang nananahan sa aking katauhan, sapagka't  ito ang templo ng kanyang espirito. (The Body of Christ rests in my being, for it is the Temple of the Holy Spirit) 

      Ang Dugo ng Panginoong Hesukristo ang dumadaloy sa Bawa't Hibla at Ugat ng aking katawan. (The Blood of Christ flows in every fiber /filament of my body). 


Believe me, I uttered it almost a hundred times the night before my therapy. Uttered several times  thinking that if I can't pray during my therapy (should visitor comes)-- I will have a reservoir of prayers with me already.    

True enough, relatives came. It could be another secret not to focus on the therapy: CHAT and LAUGH with family and relatives (or friends) during the therapy.  I can't helped but entertain my visitors.  So I chatted with them for about 5 hours, ha ha ha. 

For now, I have to eat, eat and still eat healthy foods for a more healthy immune system ha ha ha.   

I know you are with me on this journey. Ending this to borrow a quote from one of you:  Yes, " It may not be an easy journey, but it will be a safe landing.  

Thanks a lot!       

P.S.

I experienced gastric irritation up to the 5th days because of the oral maintenance medications. On the 3rd to 5th days after the actual therapy, I experienced weakening of knees. No nausea and vomiting so far.  

4th Post: A Day to the Actual Battle - The Pre-Session, 12 March, 2011, Friday

The pre- chemo. I have to be confined in a hospital overnight before the actual session for the  pre-medication procedures. Honestly, I am scared in the beginning but I know that everybody is with me in prayers - in more fervent prayers this time. 

I SHOULDN'T LET EVERYBODY DOWN. Please be with me in prayers. Not only in prayers but in thanksgiving to God whom we owe all these. Whatever the reasons  why I should pass this way, I wanted to believe that the Lord is just preparing me for a much bigger blessings that I need to be more worthy and be more cleansed to receive it. THIS TOO SHALL PASS and when that victorious time comes, I wanted to be proud and humble at the same time. Proud to be worthy to pass this test and be humble to let go the pride in my being and to accept the richness and abounding blessings that is coming my way. 

I should LET GO of all my fears and let myself surrender to God. It's not easy, I know, but, with prayers -- everything is possible. In that way, I will be able to return all the kindness, generosities and favors from all of you.  And of course,  take care of myself so that all your efforts will not come to naught.  

________

"You have a clean slate every day you wake up. You have a chance every single morning to make that change and be the person you want to be. You just have to decide to do it. Decide today's the day. Say it; This is going to be my day." -Brendon Burchard, Author of The Millionaire Messenger

3rd Post: The Infinite Gratitude and A Call to be Humble, I Am Not Ashame to Share

The Infinite Gratitude and A Call to be Humble, I Am Not Ashame to Share

This I need to share, I will not be ashamed to reveal to you and should not be emitted as part of my journey for I will forever be grateful to everybody …to these people. HOW CAN I TURN THESE PEOPLE DOWN!  I may not be able to return back the kindness and generosities, but, my prayers will always be with them and their families. The best thing that I could do and offer for now is to take care of myself so that all their efforts and initiatives will not come to naught.

A letter sent to those my old and new friends alike and closest relatives:

I sent a letter to the people close to my heart to accept my deepest appreciation to all of them who have prayed and said their novenas for me.  And to people whom I do not know, friends of friends in the Church and Organizations. May the Lord bless them forever and their families. I am so grateful and lucky to have them. The power of their prayers have helped me cope up.    

Would want to thank them as well for all the motivations and encouraging words. It lifted my spirit up and help me muster more the courage to face this very personal challenge of mine.

God still reigns in my heart. I will not question why such things are happening. I still want to be convinced that everything happened for a reason and whatever it may be, hope it will be revealed to me and grasp it will all my heart.  It may be beyond human comprehension, but I am sure He is working mysteriously for us to understand His ways and means through the many many ways and through the people dear to us and others as well. May God’s will be done. And may God gave me the wisdom and the power of discernment.

I believe in the power of prayers.

With everybody’s  prayers,  I will again end up a winner.  I am sure the Almighty Father will give me more physical, emotional and spiritual strength to face all these. 

In relation to this letter, I also want to share another sent January 5.

I was really so overwhelmed with the outpour of prayer blessings even to people whom I do not know. . I am readying myself physically, emotionally, spiritually for my upcoming therapy sessions.  As the day passed, even when my spirit was down at times, I can feel YOUR PRAYERS through the graces being sent to me.  I can say, that I already accepted and ready to face those sessions -- hopefully bravely. 

I want to make sure that everything I need is readily at hand and available for me not to worry anymore. Having to affect the family’s finances should not despair me much. I was praying to God that I no longer have control over all these. That I am giving ALL MY TRUST IN HIM that blessings will come at His appointed time. Again, a total surrender.

True enough, He assured me that He will not abandon me. I started to receive emails of support. 

Overwhelmed with the emails from friends and friends of friends pledging their supports voluntarily, I was inspired and being called for to write an email to share my blessings and the goodness of God to me and my family.

I was humble then afterwards to seek for help. Friends did their own initiatives. Two offered their birthday gifts as they requested their friends to have it in cash instead of giving them in kind. Others sought their friends’ help as well. A website was also made for me. Friends and relatives exerted efforts in their own different ways. I will not also forget the help of the very generous people whom I met and became a family to me already. You know who you are. I did not expect such generosities, endearing, selfless, noble deeds. I will forever be grateful to all of you. 


I will not be writing all your names anymore and the kind of help you have extended to me and my family. You may also opted not to, but, you know who you are.  God knows how I would want to shout the abundant blessings that came my way. But,  I have whispered and shared those overwhelming generosities to my closest friends and relatives for them to know. And, because I would also want them to be part of the Joy that I have felt. The Lord knows you. More blessings and graces come to the Givers.  Givers are more blessed. 

I have to acknowledge the kindness and the generosities through this blog, even without mentioning the names of each one. 


People whom I do not know as reached by my other friends and newly found friends generously supported me as well unexpectedly. What an outpour of blessings. So overwhelming and touching. An answered prayers.

The Gospel on that particular day compelled me to share it as well.   

Jesus went up into the hill country and called those He wanted : 

Mk 3:13-14

Today, the Gospel considers the theology of Christian vocation: «The Lord called those he wanted to be with him and send them to be apostles» (cf. Mk 3:13-14). 

He appointed twelve (whom he also named apostles) that they might be with him and he might send them forth to preach. (he appointed the twelve:) Simon, whom he named Peter; James, son of Zebedee, and John the brother of James, whom he named Boanerges, that is, sons of thunder; Andrew, Philip, Bartholomew, Matthew, Thomas, James the son of Alphaeus; Thaddeus, Simon the Cananean, and Judas Iscariot who betrayed him

......Only by discovering your God-given vocation —the true reasons for your life— and by fulfilling it on his terms, will you come to know yourself as God knows you.

This is how we learn of our apostolic mission of taking Christ to others. First, having him ourselves so that we can share him. Today, and every day, we must meditate upon the true nature of our call to vocation, answering his call with an increased love, born of our increased understanding of what He calls us to do and to be.

God is probably using me to be a sharer that you too….as I quote a friend:

“ God is saying, stop, breathe, relax, smell the roses.....my child, BE STILL and KNOW I AM YOUR GOD!" 

Through the circumstances I am having, I am just listening to what my heart tells me. 

And as another friend shared:

          The Secret is this: 

I have learned there is little I can do

In my life that will make me truly happy

I must depend on God to make

Me happy and to meet my needs.

When a need arises in my life,

I have to trust God to supply

According to HIS riches.

I have learned most of the time

I don ' t need half of what I think I do.

He has never let me down.

Since I learned that ' Secret ' , I am happy.' 

Now, the Lord is telling me, it's okay Ermie to seek for help…..

It’s not an easy task. I am to humble myself.  I am also learning my lessons here. 

From being so private I feel the need to share my experiences in public, again with humility.  Suddenly, what I have been through became open to old and new friends alike even to people whom I do not know, it naturally spread.

I have nothing against it, If that's what God wants. If HE wants to use me for His Glory. By all means, no matter how small I will be doing it right now........I HOPE I AM TOUCHING LIVES AND HEARTS HERE. .....not because of what's happening to me....BUT BECAUSE...HE wants to say something TO ME AND TO ALL OF US.......

And of course....I am bringing each one together in prayer...................and be more closer to GOD individually and GROW MORE IN FAITH.  

Please bear with me reading this  Just following what my heart tells me that I should not deny and be ashamed to share GOD's work I and blessings in my life.  

I will be victorious for me to be worthy of a much more blessings coming my way. I know God still has a mission for me to do. I just have to learn WHAT I MUST LEARN--- to be more loving, compassionate and more. ---for I CANNOT GIVE WHAT I DO NOT HAVE.   And I believe God is preparing for something BIG for me. 

Thanks.

2nd Post: The Challenge I have to Face

Since I received the advice from my doctor to undergo 6 sessions of chemotherapy. 
I am sure you will agree with me that your initial reaction is to be scared knowing the common side effects that it will bring.

Again, I resorted to searching the web  and read more about how to deal with it  to have peace of mind. For sure, there are other ways to get healed. I even thought of alternative or natural medicines for healing.

Yeah, I have read the common side effects of chemo. Scary but I should not let this affect me. I harped on the success stories that others have shared, as I read the net and the actual sharings from friends and friends of friends. They were able to overcome their fears and now living a normal life again. It’s consoling to note of that.

The brighter side that the therapy brings made me convinced to go for it. God is whispering in me to GO AHEAD despite the concern that the family’s finances will be affected because of the high cost of undergoing the therapy.  --but, the assurance is there that He will not forsake me nor abandon me and He will be with me all throughout.

As I previously wrote, I still believe in miracles. May it really happen.

Please let  me share another email I sent to those dear to me:

     If this is God's way of sharing, of using me to show others the faith that I have no    
matter how small; 

      if it calls me to show how He will work in my life;  

      if it calls me to be more humble on  how total surrender would really mean;  

      if it calls me to entrust everything to Him

      And to show myself and others that GOD is always around to all who seek for help. 

Then, by all means, with God's grace and guidance, I will exercise that total surrender being called for despite being weak in spirit at times. . 

With everybody's prayer, WE will succeed. 

       I have claimed total victory from the people who have been praying for me, else   those prayers are useless. 

      I have claimed the trust of those who believe that I CAN, else I will fail them. 

      I have claimed the strength of those who believe that I am a strong woman, 

      I have claimed the bravery of those who said I am.  

      I SHOULDN'T LET  you  and friends down and those whom I do not know , else all your efforts and initiatives are useless.   

With the outpour of prayer blessings and love offerings and sharing of others who have experienced the same and have won their life's battles, I can't turn everybody down.  With those inspirational emails and texts; With the prayers of even those people whom I do not know --- it will keep me going.   

I am claiming the POWER TO WIN OVER this challenge and BE TOTALLY HEALED.  My challenge started already since (December of 2010) last year and I will try to continue-- even as I stumble at times, I will Rise Up, Go Ahead, Fight, Have Faith and end up Victorious.  

Please stay with me in prayers and perseverance. I am lucky to be surrounded by family, relatives and friends who talks about healing and total recovery and who have been supporting me in any way they can. 

And, please extend my sincerest thanks to those people whom I do not know but have extended their prayers and support for me --. Those people whom you have reached -- for me.  God Bless US all!

Thanks, 

Ermie